Mastering Constructive Feedback: A Guide Beyond the Feedback Sandwich

Mastering Constructive Feedback: A Guide Beyond the Feedback Sandwich

What is the best way to give negative feedback? A common approach is the “feedback sandwich”, which is where the opening statement or feedback is positive, then the actual negative feedback that was the purpose of the meeting is next, and then it is all finished off with some praise or compliments.

In my experience, this seems to be the most common way that leaders and managers give negative feedback to an employee and typically this is because giving negative feedback is difficult for a lot of people, which is fair enough. If you enjoyed doing it, then that would be a different issue entirely.

The first problem with this approach is that when people are called to a meeting for which they do not know its purpose, they will assume it is bad or negative. That is how our brains are wired – we assume the worse when there is uncertainty and a lack of information. Thus, when they hear praise their minds are set at ease. They were assuming the worse and are then relieved because the conversation starts with a positive and they think that is the purpose of the meeting. However, the real purpose of the meeting is then revealed, and the person thinks the previous positive feedback was meaningless and of no value. The person is disappointed and annoyed, and this is before the real issue is discussed. You run the risk of losing their attention before the conversation has really begun.

Once the actual issue is discussed, the manger then closes with more praise, which most likely will not be heard or believed. When that manager wants to give positive feedback in the future, there is a greater likelihood they will not be believed or be seen as insincere. The sandwich approach creates a lingering trust problem and is more about making the manager feel better, as opposed to addressing performance issues.

The sandwich approach is ineffective in the short and long term. In the short term the conversation was a coaching opportunity missed, and in the long term, there are trust issues.

Instead, try these ideas to make your feedback effective and constructive:

1. Groundwork

One of the most important leadership behaviours is having regular one-on-one catch up conversations with your direct reports. This should be done in the context of a Code of Conduct, or a similar document, and needs to be regular, postponed reluctantly and never cancelled, and have structure and an agenda. If you are having these regular “Catch-up Conversations” then giving negative feedback is done in the context of an ongoing collaborative relationship whereby positive feedback and constructive criticism is done on a regular basis and seems like a natural part of your working relationship. This groundwork, when done properly, begins before the person was employed and starts at the selection phase and is the foundation for developing motivated and engaged employees.

Short of this process happening, what are some other ways of giving negative feedback?  

2. Be Up-Front

The first important step is to tell the person the reason for the meeting and arrange to have the chat as soon as possible after sending out the invitation. The first few words about the purpose of the meeting are very important for setting the stage. For example, imagine one of your staff is often late for meetings or they often talk over people. From this, you would tell the employee that, “We need to meet to go over our team meeting protocols”, or words to that effect; but keep it short. People typically expect bad news when they are asked to attend a meeting, so it is useful to tell them upfront the purpose of the meeting, but then have the meeting as soon as is practical.

3. What to Say

Assuming you have been up-front about the purpose of the meeting, what are some ways to start the conversation.

Firstly, do not do the sandwich. There is one topic for discussion and that has been spelt out in the invitation to the meeting.

One option is to ask if the person wants feedback, with something like, “I’ve observed a couple things in our team meetings and wondered if you’re interested in some feedback”. This runs the risk of them saying no, which some particularly recalcitrant people may do, but if that is the case you most likely have a much bigger challenge on your hands. However, in my experience, people do not reject the offer and once they take ownership over the decision to receive feedback, they are more open and less defensive.

Another option is to talk in terms of you being motivated by wanting to be the sort of manager who helps with your staff’s development. To do that you could say, “I need to be able to point out things that I observe, good or bad, that might help you. Is that okay?”

A further statement could be something along the lines of, “I’m giving you this feedback because I have high expectations of you and I know that you can reach them”. Rather than the person perceiving that you are attacking them, you’re signalling that you have their back and believe in their future potential. It is easier to hear constructive feedback from someone who wants to help.

4. Show Some Humility & Openness

Negative feedback can make people get defensive or feel inferior, but if you level the playing field it’s a lot less threatening. You could use some opening statements such as:

·        “I’ve benefited a lot from people giving me feedback, and I’m hoping you will too.”

·        “I’ve been researching what effective leaders do and I’ve noticed that they spend a lot of time giving feedback. I’m working on doing more of that.”

·        “Now that we’ve been working together for a while, I think it would be great if we gave each other suggestions for how we can be more effective.”

These statements send a clear message that you are not perfect, and you are trying to get better.

Listen

Finally, once the conversation in underway, it is important to be a good listener and let the person give their perspective and version of events. Learn to do “active listening” and approach the conversation with an open-mind and suspend judgement until you have actively listened to their version of events.   

Summary

Challenging conversations are difficult, but not impossible. There are many things you can do to prepare yourself and your employee. However, the ideal starting point is to have done some groundwork and have regular catch-up conversations that have laid the foundation for all future conversations. Assuming that hasn’t been done, there are other things that you can do to make the process easier, such as spelling out the reason for the meeting in a succinct manner, be upfront about your motivation to help them be better, show some openness and humility and finally, be an active listener.

About the Author

Christopher Apps is an Organisational Psychologist and the owner of Fermion. He stays updated on the latest psychology research and shares evidence-based insights. The focus of Fermion is "Psychometric Testing for Recruitment" and “Recruitment to Retention: How to Select Good Staff & Keep Them”. If you would like to learn how to select good staff and keep them, please feel free to contact us at Fermion.

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

Eleanor Roosevelt.